A personal catalog of what I've been reading lately, with some thoughts! Summaries are not spoiler free, and dates reflect when update was penned, not necessarily when books were read!
Cover intrigued me! Looks like a book about boyhood which is among my favorite kind of book. Apparently challenged for homosexual themes, which is even better.
I've finished this one recently, right after a re-read of Hesse's Demian, which I couldn't help but compare it to. Both follow this admiration of one boy for an impossible childhood friend, though in Gene's case, Phineas really is just another boy despite how untouchable he feels. Beautiful, cinematic, tense, and touching. I understand completely how this became an American school classic.
Title intrigued me! I love me an unnamed protagonist, apprently this is a very famous author! I know jack shit about what books and authors are in the public conciousness.
I started this one, lent it out to my step-mother who's a fan of the author, and haven't picked it up since. She didn't find it as enjoyable as his other works. I, myself, tend to write in slow scenes rather than raging plots, so I can't make strong judgements here, but I found myself just wishing to return to the present throughout reading. Winding descriptions of the protagonist's home and history here don't feel like rich, moody details as much as they do a show-not-tell of how much this guy sucks, which was a point made plenty well by the actually interesting plot we left behind. A protagonist who's obnoxious company is a great thing until you feel like you're stuck in the room with him.
Would like to find a copy! Read some passages my bfs sent and I'm very interested.
My current main read! I adore this so far, it's right up my alley - an approximately 100 year-old day-to-day cultural account AND a personal exploration of boyhood and sexuality! Filled with frank looks at the protagonist's development, but not at all blue. I can't help but feel as though certain things are lost not only in the translation from Japanese to English but from whenever the translation was penned to now, however.
Read the first chapter a bit ago but I'm kinda bad at keeping up with ebooks, especially if i dont have them on my phone - hopefully adding it here will remind me to keep reading!
Was reading this at the library, but it closes at 5 and I get out of work at 5 so it was rare that I had time out to kill that I could spend there. Ended up just finishing on my phone! Incredible, emotional read. Triggered my paranoia like a good memoir should. Don't have much intelligent to add ATM but good book.
Wikipedia describes this as "the first of a four-novel series featuring the title character Duffy, a bisexual private detective and ex-policeman with a 'phobia of ticking watches and a penchant for Tupperware'". I really enjoyed this book, though I found it a bit of a tough read due to not being familiar with the British (80's? it's been a bit but I think that was when this was set) slang. Duffy was a character I found myself caring about a lot. His history, personality, and sexuality interested me. The book was brutal at times, I found it very impactful and enjoyed it for that. I picked this up along with a few other books looking specifically for detective stories, wanting to find some thing with a noir-feel to inspire my own character. While that wasn't really what I found here (noir novels arent really as much of a thing as films, but I like reading books more than I do watching movies so I was basically floundering around the mystery section of a used book store looking for anything that seemed interesting), I'm very glad to have found it.
Part of the Duffy series, this time with a focus on London's Heathrow airport. I remember enjoying this one in much the same way I did the above. It plays out in a similar way, with a mystery I have some trouble following, in no small part I'm sure because of the challenging language. I'm not gonna lie, I went like 4 pages trying to pick up on context for a word and then finally googled it to found out it meant "bag." I am not a clever person. But! Regardless, the intensity that I loved the first time carries into this one, too; a moment that really stuck with me was the vivid warning of the brutality of the drug trade that Duffy was given, the "dead babies speech" I'd call it. I read these all during my short lunch breaks and I really valued how they stretched the time out, I could get lost in them so easily and often returned to work feeling like I'd just been wrenched out of that reality. I recall reading a review that suggested Duffy's bisexuality read as forced in the series, like it distracted from the plot. I disagree with this for the most part, I think it's as much an aspect of him as the very specific way he keeps his living space, the way he thinks, and being that the first book is named Duffy and not The Blackmail of Some Dude Whose Cat Was Spit-roasted, I think that it's clear that Duffy's character is a main aspect of the story, probably moreso than the mysteries he finds himself in. That review seemed like it was from a pretty heterosexual point of view to me, as a queerbo for whom sexuality is a defining factor of their life. I bring it up because there actually was one point in this book that seemed to validate that criticism for me - Duffy asserts to a man with a knife to his ear something along the lines of "all men are a little homo," which felt out of character for someone otherwise so anxiously calculating.
I enjoyed this entry in the Duffy series less than the previous two, very much in part because this one's focus was football. When compounded with the language I already found difficult, I could not for the life of me keep up with entire scenes. I'm working a bit on reading without understanding every little thing I'm presented with, but not being able to figure out broad plot points because they're sports-talk I never learned doesn't super endear me to a story. To be quiet honest, what got me all the way through this was really that I have a soft spot for Duffy as a character. He's like a wet dog to me. And here he is, doing some activity to improve the physical wellbeing he's insecure about, actually getting it up for the woman he shares his space with. Good for you, man!
Excited to see my mans Duffy again! Gonna wait until I'm done with The Naked Civil Servant as it's my current lunchtime reading. Gonna be sad to say goodbye to him, as this is the last in the series.
Finished this a good while ago, so now I can only refelect on the series. This last entry felt self-referential in places, in a very confusing and unearned way. I won't say this setting and mystery weren't interesting, in fact I think there are actually good supporting characters that one can almost keep track of here. The sad thing for me is the complete lack of Duffy's significance as a character. This novel could've starred an ancovy for all his characterization mattered. The same way people come to serial mysteries for Sherlock, or Poirot, or Columbo, it was Duffy's gruff but neurotic nature and unique vulnerability in his sexuality that made me want to see more, and those just aren't present here. The only thing hinting to a complex personality that pops up is the yawning "romance" subplot he has with a woman whose name I won't bother trying to find agian. The only thing I really appreciated about the occasional noncomittal reminder that they were supposed to have something going on was that, in theory, it was a sort of nice to show him interested in a woman for bisexual balancing purposes. As for the whole series, I'd say that Duffy made me love the character, Fiddle City made me love the world and style, and then Putting the Boot In and Going to the Dogs dropped the ball and didn't bother even chasing it down the stairs.
The autobiography of a gay man out in 1931 England. I've had similar issues reading this as I had with duffy, being unfamiliar with the language, local slang, and allusions. Forming a coherent idea of the events described is still hit or miss, but individual statements feel significant often.
Finished this a bit ago! Really feel the same. Maybe I'll watch the film at some point?
A mystery-slash-steamy (no) romance? It's not very good! Besides the comic misogyny and slightly less comic homophobia - neither of which I'm immediately willing to fully write something off for, mostly becaise it makes me feel like one of them "Liberal Pussies" (which I am, but c'mon now) but are both worth mentioning - it's pretty bland. I picked this up back when I was looking for noir-style mysteries, so cheesy was what I was going for, but it doesn't quite hit that mark. I started this one because I read on my lunch break and after I finished my last book, I intented to start Going to the Dogs. I couldn't find it that morning, so I picked up something else quickly off my shelf and it was this. Going to the Dogs was in my work bag already, by the way. But I'm mildly amused enough to power through the whole thing. That's the thing about mysteries - no matter how little I really care about the setup, I do still kinda wanna know the answer.
Finished a bit ago! Once again, same case as the last check-in - I feel about the same, wouldn't read again but there were parts bad enough to laugh at so it's at least not the most forgettable. Worst part of the mystery is that it just couldn't stop introducing more people instead of, like, elaborating on the suspects we had, to the point I couldn't keep up at all with who we were talking about.
I started this years ago, reading it at the creek in the park by my father's home. As the weather changed, I'd be outside less, and so was reading less. I recall sitting on the rocks in my secluded spot and crying from how this one affected me. I left myself with only a few chapters left, which I completed at the pool this summer in an effort to close out my branching reading list. It felt quite unsatisfying, finishing so disconnected from the rest of the story. Regardless, a beautiful, impactful read.
Included for completion's sake. May reread.
I'd been read dracula at some point way back in middle school. I think it was for entertainment in indoor recesses? Like a lotta novels I read/were read to me in school (barring The Outsiders, The Graveyard Book, Brave New World, and The Things They Carried - all things I would love to reread and add here, I already own copies of The Graveyard Book and Brave New World), I retained next to nothing. I do recall picking up a biography on Bram Stoker once while idle in the school library that I'd love to find again; I recall reading about his theater schooling. But enough about other books! I loved reading this, and in such a unique form. The book-club aspect of being able to check the Tumblr tag after finishing an entry was so entertaining. It also helped me with the denser language in this one. Can you believe I used to be grades and grades above my reading level? Okay, one last tangent: I remember reading a Shakespeare play in high school, either Romeo and Juliet or Hamlet I think, and that was like the exact moment I gave up. I went "Nope. No matter how many times I read these words, I cant string them together to form an idea that means anything." I had to retake an English class after failing, not because of not understanding shit, but because of failing to do the work and getting 0%s on assignments that I couldn't quite finish and turn in. I was diagnosed with two developmental disorders a year after graduating! Anyway, it was nice to see people talk about bits that I hadn't quite comprehended on my own.
Columbo VS. a Charles Manson copycat crime. Picked this up because I noticed it at work while I was in the middle of watching the series and had been enjoying some mysteries recently. Sorta fun, but I'd already found the show to drag a little at times - in those cases, the slower pace let me appreciate the scenery, acting, fashion, filming techniques, all the sort of structural things I'm not a well-enough versed reader to easily find in text. Not a bad read, but the structure of showing the crime before anything else and building up to Columbo's big reveal didn't work for me as well in long-form writing.
Included for completion's sake. I feel like this story is strong for its famous concept but weak in its actual story compared to similiar classics. Maybe I need to give it another chance?
My friends got extremely into a game called Limbus Company. The pit trap of an all ADHD-autistic friend group is that we can't always be in the same fixation wave as everyone else, but for this one I found at least one aspect that really appealed to me - all of the main characters in the game are based off classic literature. So, looking to engage with it by doing something similar, I went back and started re-reading The Island of Doctor Moreau. I chose it beause it was one that I really enjoyed, and one with a plot that I thought could translate well into the universe - I may have simply made the character without revisting the source, but I realized I didn't have a great grasp on the characters themselves as much as I did the story and tones of the book. So this time, I'm reading it in the form of a PDF and doing some color-coded highlighting on everything that gives me a sense of these characters. Not gonna lie, I did not even remember Prendick's name before revisiting. I think it's a fun, attentive way to read! I've already drafted some designs based off it, shown below (recalling that these are translations into another universe - I promise I'd make sayer of the law more interesting if I were drawing only from the book). I've sorta lost interst in the project that this point since my pals have moved on to other fixations and I'm dealing with a lot of other WIPs right now, but! Fun while I'm at it, I'll probably still finish reading since I'm close to being done even if I don't continue witht the design work.
Finished this a bit ago, a bit after my friends stopped caring about the game and connecting to them through this project became less emotionally profitable. so I probably won't finish it, but it provided me an interesting way to read. I doubt I'll forget the characters names as soon as I would have otherwise.
Thing i picked up at work because the first page interested me! I don't dislike it by any means, but good lord is this guy... a writer. I say this with both a negative tone and relation.
Finished this a bit ago! Overall, I'd say I like this book. Not what I expected, and I have mixed thoughts on the writer's style. I certainly don't agree with everything he says, but I did find it very interesting. I mostly felt sympathetic. The way he speaks on feminitiy really catches me - especially trouble with presenting onesself as female when you fundamentally disagree with the expectations of feminity. The physical reality of ethereal expectations, as well.
That's right! Another thing I'm reading because my friends are into Limbus & BSD! I really do like this one, I've only got a page left I think. I have to wonder if the strange formatting in places is intentional. I was surprised to see how short it was. Meursault is a character I feel such a connection to in the way he approachs the word - the hatred of engaging in what doesnt interest him, his persecution for his failure to emote. It's very emotionally difficult to read someone be put to death for his personality, which I do enjoy from it.
Finished awhile ago! Actually mailed the book out to a friend of mine since he couldn't find it around :3 Thoughts remain as above, mostly.
Another thing picked up from work bc it looked interesting! So far I've read just the first scene - the presentation with all its repetition so far surprised me, and I found it impactful. I love plays, I haven't just read one since highschool. Don't have a place in my routine for it quite yet, but I hope to find one soon.
Finished as part of my summer effort to clean up my mid-reading list. Such a unique story, but I get the feeling it deserves to be watched in full, not just read. The idea won't leave me.
Listening to an audiobook for this one :> Checking it out because my loves both read it since it pertained to a game they're into and the excerpts they've sent seemed interesting. Thoughts are sorta scattered right now, so I think I'll wait to collect until I'm done - I think there's only another chapter or two left.
My reading of this one ended up rather complicated - starting with that audiobook, then being gifted a paperback to highlight by my boyfriend for a Valentine's book exchange and restarting. I read it in bursts here and there, on Flordia beaches and back to home before finishing at our new apartment pool. Now that it's finished, the hardest thing to say is that I disagree with him. I understand his attachment to the characters, and I love this novel, but the whole thing is sad to me. It ends appropriately.
Picked up at work, just started! Barely through the acknowledgements but excited, especially because I'm grateful that it's in a voice I don't have much trouble reading so far - I know books that are on the older side and focus on intellectual topics can be a bit of a frustrating challenge for me to understand sometimes.
Finished a bit ago! I LOVE this one, such a fascinating introduction to the topic. Covers some technique, history, principles - a little bit of everthing. I believe the goal was to spark interest and introduce, and I feel that was done magnificently. I'd love to read more of this authors work, his voice was intelligent and joyful, with a real appreciation and enthusiam for the topic.
I just adore this author, I'm really looking forwatd to reading more from him. This whole account is heartfelt, with beautiful minute cultural and personal details. There's a wonderful sense of closeness and love, so much so that it feels like an honor to be allowed in to the daily activities of his family. There's something so touching about reading about a boy, 100 years ago, getting teased by his siblings and cousins saying something romantic, this context so far removed from my life and yet the feeling so familiar. While I have a particular interest in Chinese culture and art, I'd happily follow the silent traveller to wherever he chose to write about.
an autobiographical manga about the author's process of being diagnosed with terminal colon cancer. picked this up at a book store while browsing for gifts for my loved, the title really caught my eye. a heavy read with lovely art, it really holds my attention and yet i can't read it for too long at one time for how much it impacts me. the most recent chapters i've read left me clutching the book to my chest, sobbing from how much the images of hospitalization scared me. reading this and crying uncontrollably even from relatively positive experiences with doctors is a great way to realize the extent of one's medical anxiety. it makes me very, very emotional and scared me very, very much, though it's written in a light-hearted fashion much of the time. i'm tearing up and shivering from talking about it here. still, i have every intention to finish this.
picked this up just yesterday at work at the time i'm writing this! i saw her original book a few days ago too but i hesitated and never grabbed it. been meaning to read or watch something from marie kondo for a long time - all the tidbits i've heard from her seem like things that could really help me. the sermon i went to that discussed her work and animism really spoke to me. i've never considered myself to be spiritually animist but The Autism has i supposed always made that a reality for me. a little apprehensive to start, honestly, but also excited! change is scary to me but i feel it's something i need.
actually, lil tangent, this blog post that i found just now googling "autistic animism" looking for a more scientific term for what i've experienced actually is really relatable to me.
"For me, animism is not 'a belief system' or a religion or anything external that can be 'bought into' any more than autism is. I don’t choose to be autistic, and I don’t choose to be an animist. I don’t choose to turn either one of them on or off (nor can I), but I can certainly mask or suppress the experiences"especially in regards to masking my inherent animist experience. the author of the blog post seems to be speaking mostly of organisms and spaces around them while i've felt non-living (scientifically defined) objects strongly as a child, but same general idea in a lot of ways. so that's neat.
Read this all in one day out on the hammock in my backyard! Cute little adaptation, I think. I did get rid of* two bags of clothing in one day. I came back for a few things but since completeing a bit ago, I've at least kept almost all my clothes folded and in my drawers. I'm not very good at identifying joy, it never really sparks for me. The best I could do was hold things, sometimes for a long time, sometimes while crying, and try to see if i found myself smiling. She says to focus on what you're keeping, not on what you're getting rid of. I found this hard, in a way that works actually as a really convient metaphor for the joy itself - I only could focus on the absence of pain, most of the time, not the presence of joy. I don't think one manga's gonna fix that in me.
*Put in bags, then put the bags in my trunk to hopefully forget what's in there so I don't feel full of fear and regret when I do take them to a thrift store donation center (I work at a thrift store. This has only worsened my anxiety - it feels like sending a dog to a farm upstate, except literally, when you work at a farm upstate and know that the dog's quality of life is likely gonna be pretty dismal). My therapist liked this idea and in fact actively suggested it before I told her I already had. My mom kinda made fun of it.
About a mother whose son died. Learning about his interest in fiction about reincarnating to another world, she becomes convinced that this was his fate and becomes determines to either bring him back or join him there. She enlists the help of a former classmate. This one's been really interesting so far - I've never really read any isekai but I'm peripherally aware of the genre. This is a thoughtful reflection of that genre. One of the points it seems to lead me to is that the popularity of a genre whose basic formula is "death leads to an escapist realm, where you, yes you, plain young man, can finally be strong, powerful, recognized, loved!" speaks to mass suicidal ideation.
A monster promises to look after a suicidal girl who's long lost her family until she's perfect to eat. So far I've really enjoyed the art and slow pace in this one. As someone who's struggled with depression and suicidal ideation, the main character makes me feel very seen. Something about having someone very kind who encourages you vigorously to live and sticks by your side, and yet only really being able to follow someone with every intent to see you die.